Quiet day so far. There’s still some pizza left from last nights chess matches which I horribly lost by the way (g5-g6!?, N x Q!! 0-1). Before that we had a classy dinner at Via Mare and got to try some Serenitea—which is an impotent pun for milk tea if you ask me. What’s next, Hamburgirls?

Oh well. On to the topic. 

Everyone seems to have their own interpretation of what a brand is. Starting from the mundane to the complex, experts (and non-experts alike) worldwide have invariably ’branded’ branding as a seemingly complicated subject.

Other authors devote entire volumes of theory married with jargon fit for a Potter sequel. It’s enjoyable but gets irritating already. Perhaps advertising had a taste of this when it was starting or maybe MMA before it became a sport. 

Definitions are important. Especially if what you are defining is being used and abused by everyone just for the sake of using it.

Branding is vital to all businesses. Branding is so crucial because it humanizes everything from ants to armageddon. Sound can be branded, as well as experiences, tastes, scents, you name it. So missing out on how you define a word that cuts across so many things is critical for your business.

(photo courtesy of injuryordeath.deviantart.com)

If you have anyone (consultant, agency, employee) assigned to your brand, just try and ask them what it is per se. That way, you’d know if they know what they’re doing. Because if they can’t define what a brand is, then how can they help you express the actual product or service? No chicken, no egg remember?

Branding is not rocket science. It’s just a lot of hard work.

I’ve had the opportunity of building an entire library on the topic only to lose it to a 30-foot flood. And when something like that happens, you can’t just reassemble and start from scratch. Somewhere in that muddy pile of soupy hardcovers, only the strongest ideas stand out. And branding should emerge as a synthesized bulletproof concept that I, or anyone, can at least define—simply and clearly. 

So for all of the students of marketing, and for all of the business owners that aim to have one, I offer my humble definition:

“A brand is an added layer of bias to a person, place, or thing.”

What is a bias? It is an opinion. Everybody has one about everything. It’s what Marty Neumeier refers to as “gut feel”. We may agree or disagree but that’s beside the point. Everybody will have a say. And they’re absolutely correct 100% of the time. 

To give this definition a try, take any brand you’re familiar with and just strip away every layer that you can perceive from it. List down the elements (layers) used like: color, name, packaging, sound, scent, gender, and so on. In other words just break down that something into little ideas until you reach its naked & generic form—toothpaste, car, country, etc. 

Everything you get from that exercise, including the feeling you derive when you interact with the product is a part of the bias altogether. The perceptions of other people count as their own bias against yours. And if both biases match, then good. If it doesn’t, then try again. A careful design of how all of these biases interplay with a specific market segment is the god particle. 

Just like a multilayered burger, there are different ingredients for creating different ideas about products. But if the idea is not communicated well, and to the right person of course, then it will be a typical hamburger with two buns and a meat patty. There’s nothing special about it. So why buy it? 

For branding, the definition should be fairly simple too. 

“Branding is the process of adding a layer of bias to a person, place, or thing.”

There are iterative as well as non-iterative steps involved when branding anything. The brand marketer must be a student of the sciences, of liberal arts, and must love people. It’s an evolving process of cause and effect that doesn’t begin or end with a graphic designer.  

By carefully weaving the layers together with masterful storytelling and a sustainable strategy, products can become unstoppable. Honesty and dedication will bring your product or service to life. Be patient. Think agriculture.

Just like cooking or racing where the definition is understandable even for a 7-year old, I hope that someday branding too would get a definition it deserves. It can be short or it can be long. As long as it creates better choices for everyone. 

Just getting the hang of the December break. Its raining almost every day. Perfect for Monocle 24 with the Sartorialist. Rice Coffee FTW.

Several times, I’ve been tempted to dine out. But factoring the Christmas traffic, the impossible parking, and the bad toe I’m nursing, I’d rather have food delivered. 

Enter Papa Johns. A rather late entrant in the Philippine Pizza scene. These guys are fast. And they’re good: two things that almost everybody gets wrong. 

The food is terrific. I mean just look at the dough they use. It’s fresh—never frozen—and definitely hand made. Unlike Pizza Hut where it feels like a dead balloon with makeup, (an ex-employee revealed to me that the dough is just as big as your fist but merely expands when air is blown into it), Papa John’s pizza dough tastes good regardless of temperature. 

Filipinos know what I’m talking about. Their (Pizza Hut’s) pizza is really crappy. Its no wonder why so many others have successfully entered the market. Just look at Greenwich’s success. Lets name a few more challengers shall we?

1. 3M (the least of them all)
2. Greenwich
3. Angels (formerly Domino’s)
4. Yellow Cab
5. Shakeys
6. Little Ceasars (barely breathing)
7. Sicilian Express
8. Handuraw
9. Sandy’s Pizza
10. Magoos
11. Pizza Pedrico
12. Green Cab (what were they thinking?!)
13. CPK
14. Brooklyn
15. Lots’ a Pizza
16. Sbarro’s
17. Don Henrico’s
18. Fatboy’s
19. Big Guys
20. Jimini
21. Joey Pepperoni
22. Papa John’s

Okay fine, there’s over 20 of them. And probably more being developed. We didn’t even count the frozen variety. But you have to ask, why this many players? Simple: someone is doing a terrible job satisfying people. If Pizza Hut’s stuff was any special, then why would anyone try anything else? 

Winning the Endorsers

Diether Ocampo and Miss Universe beauty queens join the fray, which in my opinion only diminishes any value that pizza, albeit really crappy pizza, has. What’s the point? That’s probably over P10 Million Pesos in talent fees combined.

New products, especially the more interesting ones, should sell with or without an endorser. It’s pizza for crying out loud. Not a political candidate.

Crave the Card

These buy-one-get-one promos only tell us that every pizza sold really just costs half or even lesser than its advertised value. If you think about it, how can they give you free pizza by just buying a plastic card that won’t even cost P2 Pesos.

A promo like this demonstrates that a P300 pizza is actually worth P150. If we factor their profit margin per pizza, say 7%, it would end up lesser. You do the math. 

Service Guarantees

I’ll have to admit that the Hate Late campaign is great from a marketing perspective. Its clever and undeniably on-target. However what’s not good about it, from a customer’s perspective that is, is the promise that its good pizza.

So what if you have a fancy sticker that turns red? So what if you have 30 minutes to bring it to the gate of my village? (yep, apparently they won’t guarantee it to your doorstep). It still is poor value only faster.

Again, this demonstrates how quick they can whip up a pizza in a few minutes, factory-style. Imagine, the efficiency in an operation of that scale. What does that tell you about the amount of care given to your pizza? There’s no passion. But only a robotic sense of putting stuff in a box. 

Kind of defeats the purpose of getting value in the first place doesn’t it?

Rebellion

New players will keep coming for as long as companies like Pizza Hut are deluded into thinking that people are loving their stuff. If this keeps up, specialty players like Papa John’s, or even Greenwich are in for a good career looking forward. 

With Papa John’s I get honest-to-goodness fresh pizza, not a buy-one-get-one gimmick, not guaranteed-in-30-minutes, not endorsed by a paid actor or actress, just good pizza.

Even their tagline reinforces this and consoles me all the time: “Better Ingredients. Better Pizza”. A simple promise yet a profound effect on the product itself.

It’s 6:00 AM when I started writing this and even on an empty stomach, I can tell you that this isn’t a paid endorsement deal. I’m not getting anything for preparing this article using my own time and money. It doesn’t always have to be that way. I’m a satisfied customer. That’s all there is to it. I love their stuff and I’m gonna keep recommending it to anyone. 

Whether you take the bait or not, these companies will keep dressing up their flaws by using any means possible so that you’d open your wallet and keep quiet. That’s not good behavior.

A good product ultimately will sell itself. If it needs an endorser to prove the point, then it probably isn’t worth it in the first place. 

Tried Tropical Hut Hamburger last night just for the heck of it. And let me tell you. That was one heck of gamble that I lost. 

Heres my two cents: avoid it. It’s not worth the trouble.

Suddenly I appreciated all the other bad burgers I’ve had. This experience was so unpleasant that my stomach agrees to disagree.

To be fair, the management probably is still trapped in the 80’s. Which is totally fine except that it’s 2011 already. You do have to admire their staying power, creating a delivery hotline, improving the menu a little bit, and placing a few ads here and there. I dunno. Maybe it just doesn’t appeal to me. 

All is fair in marketing as it is in war. So all things taken into consideration, Tropical Hut is still a decent place to appreciate the relics of an ancient go-to place by the Filipinos. You could literally see history looking at this dinosaur. It will make you upgrade whatever you have in your brand now to stay as far as possible from whatever Tropical has become. 

Evolution, as Darwin proposed it, is invisible to the eye as you won’t be able to see it happening. True, frogs have evolved but it wasn’t visible even if you were there to swim with them. The same is true with Tropical Hut. It was the same 30 years ago and it is the same now. Like a time-warp anomaly. 

Like this mutated mascot (see above) Burgee, it looks like a burger that grew legs or legs that grew a burger face. Whichever way I look at it, it looks odd. Not the type I would find inspiring. But definitely the type I would find interesting to pose with like rarities from a bygone era. 

I had high hopes when I gave it a try. But after that experience, I think i’ll just go Vegan.

(Burgee photo courtesy of gemismyname.com) 

I used to love her. But she’s become a different person. 

Where do you find a good burger when you need one? Forget McDonalds. Their sandwiches are too predictable you can memorize how they taste. To find a good burger, you can’t just trust ads anymore. What you can do though is find a good list and then try them yourself.

As the first in a series of reviews, let’s study Wendy’s (Philippines). I’ve had this love-hate-hate relationship with them growing up. So here goes. 

The ‘old-fashioned hamburger’ superstar was a family destination. It’s salad bar was legendary two decades before any fastfood added it to their menu. The baked potato was original too. It was a real potato opened-up and swimming in cheese with dandruff played by bacon. It was something you didn’t find even in a hotel. And who could forget the Frosty? Nuf said.

Today, they still have those things. And to boost their performance, they added new one’s like unkempt restrooms, sub-standard service, sticky floors, a dull color scheme, a tiring menu, and lazy personnel. What’s going on?

Apart from their Lemon Iced Tea (which is the only thing I enjoy), there was not a single instance where Wendy’s exceeded my expectations even at the baseline level required of a fast food. We’re talking about how they were then, back in the 80’s where competition was softer, compared to where they are now when the choices are unlimited.

As a Brand Auditor, my job is to measure brand value through dozens of touch points (among others). And it is paralyzing to encounter a brand with much to draw from but is just unwilling to become something more. 

The bad experience you get overall, ends in gunpoint where they (Wendy’s) terrorize your wallet for the quality that they deliver. Try it for yourself. Start by measuring how they interact with you, how they take your order, how they get your money, how they serve your food, and how they ignore you after that. The only reason people go there is because all the other places are full. I had good memories there growing up but bow nothing in there makes me want to go back. 

Clearly this is a company that has lost touch with its heritage. It’s not lagging because its barely breathing. Burger places are mushrooming all over the place. But rather than show some leadership, Wendy’s feels that it can go chillin’ like a villain.  

To date, Wendy’s is one of the top 500 corporations, operating 31 stores and still growing. (emphasis mine) - Wendy’s website. 

Top 500 in the bottom 7,000? Jollibee currently has 1,804 stores WORLDWIDE that’s almost a third of all the Wendy’s restaurants everywhere. In the Philippines, JFC has 686 restaurants while Wendy’s has 31 (thirty-one). 

Quality is our recipe my astronaut. I tried out a burger once and it turned out to be the most senseless thing I ever bought in my life. It was so bad I felt I was robbed. When quality is your recipe, it doesn’t start and end with that piece of meat. It’s in the entire package. 

Comfortably, quality is the last word I can think of every time I see Wendy’s. Baconator? Sure. I’ve tried it. And it’s not worth it. 

While counting all of the injustices to the consumer, they still have the arrogance to charge higher than brands where food and service is 100x times better. Now that’s a terrorist.

In their website their mission statement says:

To be the restaurant of choice—-the most preferred hamburger restaurant that Filipinos would rather go to for hamburgers, fast friendly service, and an overall excellent dining experience.

Talk about wishful thinking.  

Brothers, Hotshots, Wham!, Army Navy, Burger King, KFC, Sango, Charlie’s, Stackers, Johnny Rockets, and many others are not afraid of McDonalds so it follows that Wendy’s was not a competitive threat to anyone. 

With only 23 (twenty-three) restaurants, the recent purchase of BK (Burger King) by JFC (Jollibee Food Corp) was another missed opportunity. Jollibee apparently was on the lookout for a solid contender to match McDonalds but why didn’t JFC go for the ‘more experienced’ Wendy’s? 

That’s a trick question. BK’s branding, growing market base, aggressive marketing, and overall experience is a good threat to McDonalds’ tiring menu. Wendy’s would only slow Jollibee down. 

Gone are the days when my family and I would enjoy Wendy’s. Because gone are the good people who made the experience meaningful. Gone will be their customers forever along with their children and so on. 

Companies that are insensitive to customers do not deserve to be patronized. The owners of Wendy’s Philippines is a good example of how bad management can ruin a great brand. It tells me that they’re just selling square patties. It tells me they’re just after my money.

How Wendy’s is run here is an epic failure in QSR industry. Soon to follow Tropical Hut and Burger Machine if they don’t shape-up. Dear Corporate HQ, she is misbehaving. And she needs to be punished. 

I’ve filed for divorce because I don’t know her anymore. 

I regretfully had Pizza Hut delivered last week after going through the usual candidates one night. Had too much Jollibee already. McDonalds is not worth it. KFC doesn’t deliver after 9 PM, BK says they’re too far, Chowking is still sub-standard, Yellow Cab is overpriced, Sicilian doesn’t honor Senior citizens, Sandy’s I keep forgetting, and Shakeys in my area does the pizza wrong, so I was left with Pizza Hut. 

No contest. I was never a fan of Pizza Hut ever since they changed their pizzas. Before it used to have substance. Now all I can eat is air and an over-fluffed piece of bread and ‘some’ toppings. I’ll probably try Greenwich next time. Their marketing is pretty awesome.

I have been following Pizza Hut for some time now since its my job to audit brands for my clients. So this was disappointing. Going back, we had a bad experience yet again. I ordered, got a Palm Card to a get a free pizza and was reminded by the call center lady that the pizza will be arriving on the dot or it’s free. Promising. So let’s try it. 

After we synchronized watches (approximately 9:53 PM), I remember walking back to my room thinking how relieving it is to be guaranteed pizzas if they’re late (10:23 PM or it’s free). 

Cool. I set my clocks, all four, then went back to work. Who doesn’t Hate Late? With 3 minutes before the designated time, I went down and informed our security guards that I’m expecting a delivery. It’s 10:23 and he’s still not there. I phone the call center and tell them the situation. The phone rep gives me the green light—the pizzas are free. So I wait.  

I asked the guard and he said it was 10:25. Two minutes later, the bike arrives and then the rider, Eric, confidently swags the receipt as if ready to receive the payment. But he’s late. Just like the last time. Now what do we do?

“So where’s the note of the village gate?”, I asked him. Apparently, Pizza Hut instructs their riders to confirm with the village gate the time of their arrival. I did my homework and it’s part of their protocol to do so. Anyways, Eric didn’t follow protocol and innocently replied “Ay wala po (I don’t have it)”. Flag #1. 

He’s obviously late by three minutes. Forgivable. But this guy was arrogant by not following instructions and not apologizing for being late Flag #2. So we talk a little and he advised me to call his branch. And I did. It was busy. Pizza was getting cold. And by the way I didn’t see him stick that sticker to tell me the thing was still hot Flag #3. 

After numerous attempts, it was hopeless. I call back the hotline, a lady engages me. And then asks to speak with their rider Flag #4. Don’t they have cellphones? I gave her a flat no, because strangers aren’t allowed inside our house. And besides, what’s the point of talking with the criminal? So you could both adjust the time over the phone? To cut the story short, she told me that Pizza Hut only guarantees 30 minutes up to the gate of village. UP TO THE GATE OF THE VILLAGE. This ingenious marketing campaign of guaranteeing a 30-minute delivery time to-your-doorstep does NOT include the time from the village gate to your house. Flag #5.

Talk about a sham. She went further by saying:

“…the riders are entitled 5 minutes from the gate of the village so technically the rider isn’t late.”

Good job Pizza Hut for creating a campaign thats untruthful and has a magical fine print. Forget that these riders constantly break traffic rules and scoot like total maniacs. Ambulances would look better.

Anyhow, I gave ‘em a piece of my mind. It was awful how they really mean 35 minutes when they advertise 30. They do the robotic apology. And pretend like nothing happened. How’s that for for a thick crust?

This campaign looks good 30,000 feet above. Has an endorser that I have no clue how helps drive sales. And it’s cute how the thermal sticker reveals its hot. But not really smart if you think about it since those stickers haven’t been proven to be time-sensitive. They just change color. So what.

As far as I’m concerned, Pizza Hut’s Hot-On-the-Dot campaign is a fraud. Its promise isn’t real. There’s a hidden surplus of time for the riders to invoke. They don’t even believe you when you tell them they’re late. Some sneaky brand you got there.

Forty-five minutes later, the pizza was terrible. It was lifeless and the toppings were abysmal. The night totally ruined. Thanks to one brave rider who couldn’t say sorry. 

Consumers don’t deserve to be lied to. Especially the one’s that can pay.

Goodbye Pizza Hut. Your only guarantee was a gimmick. And we’ve had enough.

Growing up in the early 90’s, I have always looked up to authors that had originality. Imagine my joy when I discovered Positioning: The Battle for your Mind by Jack Trout and Al Ries. Suddenly, Plato’s Republic became an artifact and Ayn Rand a Tempur pillow. 

Finally, here was a book that anyone could understand. The knowledge I gained from it was a novelty that I set out to practice at the start of my career and it paved the way for how my current concept of strategy evolved. 

But eventually, I found it unsustainable as a tool. Positioning couldn’t be measured, couldn’t be tracked, and couldn’t be implemented systematically. There was no process offered so hiring Jack Trout was the next best thing. 

Hearing the same advice again and again (up to this day) added further suspicion. All the other sequels, everything Trout had ever written, I had devoured but ended up flat. 

Then there was a new book by Ries entitled Focus. It’s an excellent read in Ries’ own style departing from Positioning but with more relevant material. I felt that Focus was a change of religion as Positioning had been a dinosaur from the 70’s.

Comparing the two, one appears to be hot air while the other solid ground. Positioning is ambiguous at best and Ries’ Focus is timeless. 

Where Positioning fails as a solid methodology (for its lack of measurement) for companies to use, it succeeds as a valuable treatise for marketers to progress their thinking.

My two cents: positioning doesn’t work. Abandon it. And we can argue all day long even if you have PhD’s. This is where theory and practice will divide. There are tons of examples on the matter. But don’t just take my word for it. Here’s what McDonalds’ Chief Global Marketing Officer Larry Light had to say:

“Identifying one brand position, communicating it in a repetitive manner is old-fashioned, out of date, out of touch.” “..the end of brand positioning as we know it is marketing suicide.”

Now if a giant like McDonalds who can afford to spend as much resources to position anything they want has lost faith, how can the small business get any real accountability with it? 

If you subscribe to this prehistoric hammer in Positioning, or you have consultants who push for it or say they know how to position you in the marketplace or that’s what’s needed (and they bill you for it) then you’re up for one helluva ride.

According to Ernst & Young and McKinsey & Co. “Positioning’s demise is everywhere. The number of branding failures, many based on positioning’, are over 90%.”

There are no fixed points in marketing anymore as the market forces have become more dynamic than ever. To illustrate, just look at a simple racetrack. No racing professional can maintain his/her position at the same spot forever. Everything moves at the same time and at varying speeds and there is absolutely no way to know how every element will react or interact with each other.

Similarly, if a single person cannot control a single machine and position it continuously on a single road, then how can a company with multiple products, multiple people, in multiple categories possibly control an entire organization competing against multiple targets at every time?

I highly recommend you get a copy of Trout’s book so you can understand how most strategies employed against you can be neutralized due to their fundamental flaw (which is Positioning). If you are in business it will be healthy to know what methods are being used even if they are based on something you do not agree with.

Positioning may be original but it is already obsolete. Find another gospel. The times have changed and so should you. 

I went to Galleria the other day to have my toe fixed and saw an improved (?) Cerealicious. I find it strange how cereals (or the thought of it) would mix with steak, nuggets, and cordon bleu among others. So I searched for other stores and saw Pizza Hut Bistro, another mutation that seemed awkward at first but became good as it evolved. 

(I wonder why the Polar bear is in a tub of milk)

Anyways, that transition was okay. Pasta does go well with Pizza. But Cornflakes and cheese balls? Give me a break. McDonalds went with McCafé to take advantage of their scale and strengthen their beverage business even if burgers and coffee do not go well together. But why did that boost their performance worldwide? 

Timing.

Breakfast goes well with coffee. And so does bread. It’s filling. Just like rice. With all the market enjoyed by Starbucks this makes business sense. But Cerealicious’ gutsy maneuver to morph restaurant food with cereals doesn’t. Here’s why:

First of all, their name says Cerealicious which implies that they are a cereal company that offers servings in a delicious way. That’s a smart name. But adding the word café doesn’t change the fact that they specialize in anything but cereals. If I want to eat something serious I wont trust a cereal maker and will go somewhere else. Same with my coffee. 

Second, it gets boring after a while. There are hundreds of things that can satisfy your stomach so why gamble with a few grams of milk? All that pizzazz with the menu isn’t even enough to make people loyal. I remember a concoction they made called ‘I-rone Man’ (see picture below) with a funky rendition of Iron Man being offered. Cute but clumsy. They’re lucky no trademark infringements have been raised. 

And third but most important of all, nobody eats cereals here. Technically, some do, but if you count the number of people who do, it will be so small that it should be considered as a niche market. 

And granting that people do eat cereals for breakfast sometimes, how can you convince the same people to eat it more often at Cerealicious and at different parts of the day? Interestingly, what’s to stop anyone from buying their own box of cereals and enjoying it at home? Any angle I look at it, a bowl from Cerealicious will end up more expensive thanks to their overhead, advertising, marketing, rental, and all the other costs of staying in a pricey location. 

Looks like a dead end from where I’m standing.

So whenever you plan on doing something new, understand the context of your market above everything else. For example in India, McDonalds and KFC respects the market by offering veggie burgers because vegetarianism is widespread. Why go against everyone’s habits and beliefs? It’s not enough that your idea is unique or that it hasn’t been done yet. Those are not good reasons to spend all the effort in selling something that will attack a country’s sensibilities. 

It’s called cultural sensitivity. Or plain common sense. Filipinos eat rice all the time. And it starts with breakfast. When they’re hungry, the last thing they think of is Koko Krunch. Now cereals are being marketed for breakfast not for snack time. And even if it was, it wouldn’t matter because Filipinos love chips or cheaper alternatives other than cereals which are more expensive. 

No wonder its the first and only cereal café in the country. It’s a tough sell and the market just isn’t there unlike Frozen Yogurt or hamburgers. 

Keep things simple when you want to build a brand. Don’t be sci-fi. Your idea must be realistic and habit-forming just like rice. A little research won’t hurt but a whole-lotta-milk will.